If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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