she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Houston, we have a squirter
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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