dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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