She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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