Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize