If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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