Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
