i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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