Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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