dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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