He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
