he wants to bone in the snuggie
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
