This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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