her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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