Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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