I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
