She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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