I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
