i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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