We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
