The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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