she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize