omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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