So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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