dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
4 words: hood of his car
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
