Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
