Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
