Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
