No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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