this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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