Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
