It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize