either way he was missing a nipple.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
