# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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