just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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