jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sext me about skeletons
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize