Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize