like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
