I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
