I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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