i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
