I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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