You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
