Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
