This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
