5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
