I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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