Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
