Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize