what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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