We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
