She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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