about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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