i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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