My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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