At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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