the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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