i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
