So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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